What are the most important elements you want to have in your life?

Most people can answer this question quite easily: love, fulfilment, satisfaction, contentment, friendship, purpose, peace, excitement, fun, security, financial security. Some of these may be on your list or you may have others. There are lots of elements to choose from and it is highly individual. To spend a little time considering what you want can help to move you towards them and the answer may have changed for you over the years. You may still want the same things as you did 5 or 10 years ago.

Another question to consider though,  is ‘How do you measure whether you have these things in your life?’ Some elements, like financial security, are possibly easier to measure than say fulfilment or satisfaction. One element a lot of people want in their lives is Love but the way we measure whether we are loved is very individual. One person may say ‘I know I am loved if my partner tells me so frequently and in a sincere way’. Another person may feel loved when their partner listens to them, is concerned about their wellbeing and does things that show this. We all have our own internal measuring criteria which may be at a subconscious level and may be something we don’t consider very often.

Love

However, some peoples individual measure is not realistically attainable and therefore holds them back from feeling they are loved even when they are. A person who has formed a belief that to feel loved they need their partner to predict how they are feeling all the time, or that they want to be messaged 10 times a day, every day, may be with a partner who loves them but doesn’t show it in this way but who may show their love in a tactile way rather than verbal or who does thoughtful acts of kindness for their partner… but these actions go ‘unmeasured’.

If you have elements in your life which you are finding hard to feel in your life, it may be that those elements are not there yet and you are still looking for ways to feel them in your life but it may be that they are in your life now but your measuring system isn’t showing you the real picture.

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